there are too many things piled up on my computer table and it's getting on my nerves. frank sinatra cds, notebooks, sweet wrappers, earrings, books, overdued dvds, empty bottles, it's quite easy to tell what my sister and i spend most of our free time doing. but it's clogging my free space and one day, one day, i will clear everything. one day. for now, i will just get stuck with all these junk waiting to be arranged and put to where they belong. arghhh! (a predictable xianyu-esque response: "HIGH SEEE!!!" a pity im not high c enough to clear everything nownownow!)

so my lovely sistah is away for another of her chalets (note the plural form) and my dad's away at work. just me and my mom tonight. nothing noteworthy, but as much as i love to proclaim that im fine being on my own at home, it kinda comforts me to know that there is at least someone else at home (besides abby <3). despite all that history. but that's a story for another day.

as i was reading a book im using as a devotional yesterday, some things steven curtis chapman and scotty smith mentioned helped me understand some things i never did.
we enter heaven not by escaping what we dont like, but by the sanctification of the place in which God has placed us... there is not as much as a hint of escapism in st. john's heaven. this is not a long (eternal) weekend away from the responsibilities of employment and citizenship, but the intensification and healing of them. heaven is formed out of dirty streets and murderous alleys, adulterous bedrooms and corrupt courts, hypocritical synagogues and commercialized churches, thieving tax-collectors and traitorous disciples: a city, but now a holy city.
from restoring broken things

i still have a lot to learn. and i have a lifetime to learn them. but sometimes, i just need to realise that myself. (:

the holidays are passing by so quickly, and it's december already. i am hardly ready for christmas (GASP all those presents), not to mention the DEADLY A LEVEL YEAR. gahh. in a blinking of an eye, i will be in malaysia and back, and then there's the youth camp and immediately after that, christmas, then it's happy new year! hardly enough time to touch my books (excuses excuses). i wish i could believe you, frank, when you said that next year all our troubles would be out of sight but sadly nothing could be further than the truth. to think that i completely wasted my 'mugging' time today, spending it lazing around at kwek's house, playing games, sleeping, eating, watching tv etc etc etc and all other random things.

ohwell. GOD WILL HELP ME. (: im gonna trust You like i did a year ago, with a faith of a mustard seed! <3

mucho LOVESS to jihad, my paaall :D haha you nerdddd!

PLUG OF THE DAY goes to KWEK because her skin OWNNNNNNS. ("it's time for silly songs with larryyy..") coughifounditforhercough. :D