so now im back from my unglam vacation.


and i was welcomed with lots of hugs and kisses (muah to you all too), flowers and bouquets, rainbows, teddy bears, meteor stars with all its cornyness, love love love and lotsa love in the air, balloons, the beach and zoo animals.

NOT REALLY. everybody's like depressed in one way or another and the more i look at those messenger screen names the more i feel like banging my head (not to my chemical romance because i never had one i dropped chem in sec3) against my very artistically dirty wall. MSN should just ban customized screen names for good and put in place just names like AIM ie happykelly, or whoopeedoo, even EMOBOIZX doesnt seem as emo as 'just kill me plzplzplzplzlpzlplpzz'.

which so keels my happy mood, thanks collective depression which is SO NOT KEWLZX btw. BUT anyway.

sometimes i wonder if it's my fault. or if i haven't done enough.

but then again i realised this has to be a personal choice.

"A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown." matthew 13:3-8

BTW kids, take my advice. anything that you do halfway will never be fun. trust me.