as of now, one week and one day of the holidays has gone. five whole months passed just like that.

if you asked me, it has been the longest year of my whole life. these (30x5) days could not have passed by so slowly. in fact, these two years feels like ages. well i can rejoice and safely say that i am still young, and a year in 18 is a lot compared to a year in say, 45 (jihad's golden age).

a thought that popped in my head while in bed yesterday (yesternight?):
i am the king of excuses, i have one for every selfish thing i do. tell me what's going on inside of me, i despise my own behaviour. this only serves to confirm my suspicions, that im still a man in need of a Saviour.
it's true. while everybody else even ourselves expects us, me, to be perfect and perform every duty and responsibility according to how Jesus did in His time, according to what we proclaim in the Bible, in the songs we sing, the fact is i am not perfect. He's the Perfect One, not me. there's a reason why i need a Higher Being to look after my every need, and to teach me how to be a better person. that's because im not one already (: which explains why im still on earth and not in heaven. He's not finished with me yet, and He's not finished with you. im still a man in need of a Saviour.

sure took a whole load of burden and anxieties off my shoulder and off my mind. (thanks God, i know it was You, my very present help in times of need :D)

quoting from samme:
Did you know the phenomenon where women's menstrual cycles begin to synchronise is known as the McClintock Effect? I bet you didn't! From all the information I gathered I have come to the conclusion that within a group of women who co-habitate/spend an awful lot of time together/are just very close in general, an alpha female will emerge and everyone's menstrual cycles will eventually begin to synchronise with hers, unless they are antagonistic to her.
sounds familiar kwekhyenyu! (if you even cared to read :D) i think this is happening in my very home. HAHA.

i belong to a club where everybody is just very lonely and abandoned and people just havoc. i wish we could spend time doing more productive things though (or that the meetings could be during hours when generally more animals are awake). right, bored club/lonelyhearts? not like any of them read this (with the exception of ty).

there are a lot of things that i've done that as im looking back now im thinking WHAT THE FRIK ARE YOU DOING PEARLEENPAO! but as the saying goes, dont regret because at the moment in time it was the best decision you've made (or something like that).

i totally went for a mani 2 days before harp practice and now it seems like the worst idea in the world. after tomorrow my cute little fingernails (NOT!) will be scarred for until-the-next-time-i-go-for-a-manicure.

i am witnessing a lot of new faces coming into the great big Family and enjoying God's grace and love, but at the same time many, especially important ones, hearts are growing cold. "no more passion in my life," says clement in youth camp 2006 during our skit.
this is an end-time prophecy being fulfilled (refer to revelations). we have to guard our hearts. anytime i doubt the very existence of His presence, i would look to people like the united team. or the martyrs for Christ. He is too real to be denied and He has ministered too much to be just a creation of man. i would watch people worship in united and i think, how could i ever have been so blind (AGAIN)? all for Your Son's Holy Name.

i really feel like this ---->. it's people, and more people, and a lot of people. PEOPLE! and my poor little nails. oh well. 6 MONTHS 2 WEEKS 6 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS <3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (thansk samANTHA!) when people are generally nicer. ARRRGHHGHGHG i hate this sense of ARGHHGHGHHHGH-ity.

i think it's the time of the month. im incoherent. but one thing's for sure:
this is our love, hearts joined as one, desperate for all You are. show me the way to Your heart.